Sunday, July 3, 2016

BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE!



So I finally saw Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice: The Ultimate Extended Edition! Three hours of... well, let's just say I was inspired to do a post on it!


Quick! Fight in slow, cumbersome fashion!
SUPERMAN
DEX
10
STR
12
BODY
12
Alter Ego
INT
3
WILL
12
MIND
12
Clark Kent
INFL
6
AURA
8
SPIRIT
8
Motivation
INIT
29
WEALTH
3
HP
75
Responsibility of Power
POWERS
Directional Hearing: 8, Extended Hearing: 10, Flight: 15, Heat Vision: 10, Invulnerability: 14, Regeneration: 15 (Power linked to Solar Sustenance), Sealed Systems: 11, Solar Sustenance: 11, Superspeed: 10, Telescopic Vision: 10, X-Ray Vision: 8
ADVANTAGES
Attractive, Buddy (Lois Lane)
CONNECTIONS
Low- Daily Planet
DRAWBACKS
Altered Biology (Near Human), Catastrophic Irrational Attraction to protecting Ma Kent and Lois Lane, Serious Physical Restriction (Superman appears to be incapable of speaking during a fight), Secret Identity
VULNERABILITIES
Loss Vulnerability (Within 1 AP of pure Green Kryptonite, Physical Attributes and all powers are reduced to 3)
Fatal Vulnerability* (Within 1 AP of Green Kryptonite, It causes 1 AP of killing damage each phase, killing Superman in 6 APs of time. Luckily, he can still spend HPs to heal damage, staving off death)
EQUIPMENT
UNIFORM [Advantage: Indestructible Costume]

I left my batneck in my other batsuit.
BATMAN
DEX
2
STR
5
BODY
6
Alter Ego
INT
5
WILL
10
MIND
3
Bruce Wayne
INFL
6
AURA
6
SPIRIT
4
Motivation
INIT
15
WEALTH
18
HP
75
Psychopathic
SKILLS
Gadgetry: 10, Martial Artist: 5, Military Science: 5, Thief: 6, Vehicles: 9, Weaponry: 9
ADVANTAGES
Area Knowledge (Gotham City), Buddy (Alfred Pennyworth), Genius, Expansive Headquarters (The Batcave: Lab: 10, Security: 10), Iron Nerves
CONNECTIONS
Low- Underworld, Gotham City PD
DRAWBACKS
Secret Identity, Serious Irrational Attractions to forming alliances with others who have mothers named Martha, Serious Irrational Hatred of crime/criminals, Catastrophic Physical Restriction (Batman/Bruce Wayne has no neck), Media Bias, Mistrust, Serious Rage
EQUIPMENT
BATSUIT [BODY: 2, Skin Armor: 2]
BATCAPE & COWL [BODY: 3, Gliding: 3]
BATARMOR [DEX: 4, STR: 12, BODY: 14, Skin Armor: 6, Ultra Vision: 6]
BATCOMPUTER [BODY: 7, INT: 9, WILL: 8, MIND: 9, Gadgetry: 6, Scientist: 6, Recall: 21, Radio Communications: 18, Split: 8, R#2]
BATMOBILE [STR: 7, BODY: 9, Running: 7 Vehicles (Land, Exotic): 5, Thief (Stealth): 8, Skin Armor: 2, Flame Immunity: 8, Projectile Weapons: 8 (Minor Power Burnout), Radio Communications: 12 (Allows the Batmobile to operate a Split of the Batcomputer), Hardened Defenses, R#2]
BATWING [STR: 8, BODY: 10, Flight: 11, Vehicles (Air, Exotic): 5, Projectile Weapons: 7 (Serious Power Burnout), Radar Sense: 20, Radio Communications: 12 (Allows the Batwing to operate a Split of the Batcomputer), R#2, Hardened Defenses]
Kryptonite Spear [BODY: 5, Claws: 1]
BATMAN’S UTILITY BELT:
Grapple Gun with Swingline [BODY: 4 (the gun’s BODY, not the line’s), Snare: 4 (No AV), Ammo: 1, R#3] Swingline is 3 APs long.
   Batbrand [BODY: 8, Heat Vision: 1 (No AV, No Range), Strike: 1] 
   Razorwings (x8) [BODY: 6, Claws: 1 (Diminishing, Half STR)] The attack power of this weapon represents throwing multiple weapons at a target. If attacking multiple targets, reduce the attack’s total EV by one for each target and apply the Multi-Attack modifiers.
 Grenade Launcher [STR: 8, BODY: 3, Ammo: 1, R#3] Use the weapon’s STR to determine the distance and speed of grenades thrown by this weapon.
    Smoke Grenades [BODY: 1, Fog: 5 (Full Force), R#2]
   Kryptonite Smoke Grenades [BODY: 1, Fog: 5 (Full Force), R#2] The grenades are dangerous only to Kryptonians

I'm *squeak!* the best *oink!* Lex Luthor ever *squawk!*
lex luther
DEX
2
STR
2
BODY
2
Alter Ego
INT
6
WILL
8
MIND
2
None
INFL
1
AURA
3
SPIRIT
3
Motivation
INIT
9
WEALTH
25
HP
50
Psychopathic
SKILLS
Gadgetry: 5, Scientist: 5, Spy: 8
ADVANTAGES
Genius, Expansive Headquarters (Lab: 9, Security: 9)
CONNECTIONS
High- Business, Government, US Military
DRAWBACKS
Catastrophic Psychological Instability (Lex is crazy), Catastrophic Irrational Attraction to squeaking, grunting, squawking, and oinking while speaking



This is the stupidest fight in DC Comics history.

Top 10 Ways Superman Could Have Won This Fight:
10. Sonic shockwave clap.
9. Heat vision from high orbit.
8. Grab that blue cape, fly into orbit.
7. Superspeed disassemble the armor.
6. Superbreathe freeze effect.
5. Flying whirlwind of vacuum.
4. Superstregth kick to the batballs.
3. Throw a mountain at him.
2. Send Streaky the super-cat to do it for him.
1. Thump him in the forehead. Seriously, that's enough to crumple a tank. It'll rattle decrepit batbrains.
Very disappointing.
It's okay, but falls far short of its potential. This is a Batman, not a Superman, movie. It suffers from a flimsy plot and barely-there characters. The fight choreography is shockingly bad. It looks like something from 1989. The ultimate battle between Superman and Batman is based on DC Comics' stupidest moment and it lives up to everything that insipid, plot-holed moron of a fight promised. And Batman has no neck. What happened to his neck? How does he breathe and eat??
But ... the whole "Wait- YOUR mother is named Martha too? Dude! We are best friends now!" made me wish I had just watched Step Brothers instead. 
Jessie Eisenberg as Lex Luthor is, without a doubt, the worst movie supervillain in cinematic history. You'll be wishing for Atomic Man and Mistuh Freeze after watching that idiot squeak, hunch, and giggle his way through comics' greatest bad guy.

But, hey, it was still better than Josh Trank's Fantastic Four movie. 

Of course, this is a better movie than Trank's Fantastic Snore.



2 comments:

  1. i'm totally disagree with your comment "This is the stupidest fight in DC Comics history.".
    Typically it is as comment made on RPG technic of play (2D10 on VA/VE tables....) without any roleplay consideration ....
    Yes superman can ... can all with enough preparation, clever planning etc. But this is not the way of superman.
    on my rpg table i see many players who create elaborate technics to win over the "vilain".... without any consideration of the personnality of her character.
    They create clever things, but their character had INT 3-4, WILL 3.... not "realistic".

    ReplyDelete